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a pinkie-sized hole
from my arms getting heavy
or was that my bag?

(Is that too pared back to stand alone?)

thin-haired fused shell
lacework of blood bubbles:
harrowed marrowed skull

shiny vase
with dust

One Deep Breath: Container Prompt: Other responses

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4 Responses

  1. Mike Mc

    The third, and shortest, is the one that resonates first and best. I think I get the second, but not the first.

    AnonymousDecember 12, 2006 @ 8:20 am
  2. containers

    IMHO, I have pretty much the same response as Mike. I am really drawn to the first ku, but wind up puzzled. The second is also “dense,” it is intriguing but ultimately I can’t get into the moment. The third is very here, very clear but maybe a bit too sparse. (I hesitate to ever say a ku is sparse as I tend to make my own as short as possible. :-D) But all three are enticing so I feel there’s a moment in each well worth sharing.

    AnonymousDecember 12, 2006 @ 5:30 pm
  3. Roswila

    I’m the anonymous second post above (of Roswila’s Dream & Poetry Realm). I didn’t realize (DUH!) my name would not show. Sorry.

    AnonymousDecember 12, 2006 @ 5:32 pm
  4. The first one is odd and the second one spooky (but good). Interesting and diverse trio of poems. from Paris Parfait

    AnonymousDecember 12, 2006 @ 11:02 pm

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